Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
