Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
