I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
