Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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