I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
