I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
