Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You are the jesus of drinking
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
