Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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