ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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