no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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