i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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