i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
