I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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