I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
