Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
