You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
