Is it normal to miss your booty call?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
