it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
