i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
