Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
