That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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