yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
