I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
