and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
