Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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