I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
