I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
