Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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