So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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