you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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