I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
