she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize