he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
