when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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