there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
