you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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