In the future we'll all be gay
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize