Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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