So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
