one two three fourrrrnication!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
