i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize