i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
