did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
