i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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