do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
