Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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