at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the day after is always just damage control
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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