Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize