I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
