I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
