So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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