You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
