No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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