I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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